Preppy is the New Hipster

So I was going to post something really nasty about how much I hate obese people, and I think they are a drain on society and they make me want to write a letter to someone saying “hey don’t you think it would be great if each office had a special bathroom where people could go to throw up their french fries after lunch.” But that is neither nice nor productive; all of those people who take up two seats on the metro PROBABLY have genetic problems.

Instead I thought I would focus my attention on what is really on my mind. So I heard through the grapevine that MPC, the XBF, is moving in with his Current GF, (“CGF”). This is the boy(def not a man) that for 6 months of my life I thought would be the father of my sixteen perfect little blonde children. In all fairness-I think that I meet this man about 3 times a week-the man on the metro, the boy in the library, the random guy I spoke with in passing at the gym, etc.

My emotions are like an independent voting on middle of the road legislation, they go back and forth. Right now I am oscillating between on one hand being happy for him, because ultimately he is a good guy and should be happy on the other hand to pissed-off at him and myself. I think I am more pissed off at this point in time. I am pissed off at him for his passive aggressive behavior. IF YOU DON’T LIKE SOMEONE ANYMORE YOU BREAK UP WITH THEM. Why is this such a hard concept for these be-spectacled assholes that I seem to like. I mean I don’t see what the big deal is, and I think it is bullshit.

I am pissed off at myself because I was blinded by his glasses and taste in obscure music to realize that it was over sooner. I probably spent like thousands of dollars(train rides, dinners, presents (I love to give presents bc I think I am really good at it, and I am) during this period of the relationship trying to get things back on track. What a dummy. When I brought up possibly moving in, or even living in the same place he responds, “I never want to live with someone, I did it once before and I ended up really hating her.” –MPC. Thanks MPC, you are the sweetest BF ever.

Its so weird, like I am glad I am not with him anymore. I am in SUCH a better place than I ever was with him. I mean his family values were seriously out of whack and frankly having a mimosa on Sunday afternoon is one thing, but getting black-out-drunk and fighting in a bar before getting on the train home to cry your eyes out in front of a bunch of perfect strangers is quite another.

Anyway, I wish him and his CGF well. He is not a bad guy and she is probably pretty cool, but CGF-a word to the wise, if you think he might be pulling away, he has been for the last six months.