Preppy is the New Hipster

I am moving, not sure exactly when but soon. We are going to live in Columbia Heights, or U Street, probably CH though. Some people call it ghetto, I call it progressive!-the El Salvadorian Harlem of the District. I am rather pumped.
But this post is not about the future roommates who share interest in such things as drinking mimosas, listening to David Bowie, and talking about hand jobs at the drive in. This post is actually about my soon to be former roommate, K-Dog, or the Republican Beavis. Republican-because I think he fantasizes about giving John McCain or my fake boyfriend hand-jobs in front of the drive-in theater playing fox news. Beavis (of the famed Beavis and Butthead)-because he has Beavis’s voice.
I share a bathroom with this Republican Beavis, which is really not so bad. He isn’t in it much and neither am I. To the best of my knowledge, he spends most of his time on the dirty couch with his shirt off watching the news media, spending his dirty lobbiest money at overrated restaurants, asking me opinions about girls that are clearly ditching him and being lazy.
It might be difficult to understand what exactly the Republican Beavis is really like. I’ll help you. Picture this some dude coming home a little drunk and talking about how his "uncle just hooked him up with box seats at the verizon center, where he and his buddies just spent the last 5 gluttonous hours chowing on shrimp cocktail and listening to the greatest band of all time”(He believes this to be U2, and that you agree with him on his musical judgment).